When holidays arrive, it’s often a fight to determine where a child’s going to spend their time. While parents often have parenting plans in place that dictate where a child will spend the holidays, special events and activities might make it hard to stick to those plans.

As a parent who wants to see your child experience all the joys of the holidays with all possible family members, what can you do? You don’t want to lose the time you’re guaranteed, but you also want to do what’s best for your child. Here are a few ideas.

1. Opt to exchange days

One good option is to exchange custody days. You can ask the other parent to give up a different day in exchange for custody on the day of an event or activity with family.

2. Ask your child their preference

In some cases, it’s a good idea to ask your child their preferences on where they’d like to go or what they’d like to do. Sometimes, the holidays are stressful, so children might prefer to stay with one parent over the other or to see certain family members. Listen to their concerns and adjust accordingly.

3. Be flexible

Finally, be flexible. While you may not want to miss out on a day or two with your child, you also have to understand that certain events or visits happen only once a year or even once a lifetime. Do what you can to spend time with your child, but try to be fair when it comes to one-off special events.

These are some tips for custody during the holidays. Having a good attitude and being flexible is best for all.